I have no idea who'd I'd be today had my mind not been so captivated by the millions of beautiful words I've consumed over the years. Too dramatic? I don't know. I've come to think of books as love letters and believe they have saved me over and over again. I've heard others share similar thoughts on how books become a part of their spiritual/religious practices. I sure do believe that. From the Gospel stories found in the Bible to the ones told by my neighbors all throughout the land and time, words and stories have changed me and made me better and I believe storytelling is one of our greatest gifts to give and receive. Sadly, many are afraid to tell their stories for fear of judgement and criticism and deprive the world of their wisdoms. Many, to protect their families, stay quiet and never say a peep about how dysfunctional their childhoods were. Tragically, many of those same people repeat the very same cycles of dysfunction they despise simply because they can't find a way to be and do better. I found my way with the help of books and stories, but the reality is we are messy and need help. We are bunch of glorious messes that God loves no matter what and, most importantly, our stories bind us and make us whole in all the mess and love we are and, when we neither speak or listen, we suffer.
This blog, What's on My Mind, is my way of telling my story and I hope my words and experiences bring you something good. I hope they make you feel not so alone. You/We aren't. We always have one another and our stories and we must do everything in our power to preserve wholesome, truthful, down to earth relationships rooted in open and honest communication whether it be in face to face or written word. I just know words and stories heal and I am ever healing and have a feeling you are too, my friend.
So, what's on my mind today? Let me tell you.
Grief is on my mind. Shit, who am I kidding. It's not just on my mind, it's bore a hole in me and I tend to believe that once you've experienced the massive depths of grief, it's potential is GREAT. It's an energy unlike any other we experience as humans and, like any energy, can be used for good or bad. I think most of us teeter somewhere in the middle and far too many are lost forever in its depths and deep gaps. I've been close to the edges of those cliffs and all I have to say about it is this:
I DIDN'T SEE IT COMING.
What I have felt though, is the LOVE of many grabbing my hand and giving me assurance that things will be okay and, they are right.
LOVE finds a way even through the depths of the most incredible griefs we've experienced. It's just got that kind of power and I urge you, if you are in the depths of grief today, find a way to RADICALLY LOVE SOMEONE and you WILL feel better.
I do not have the financial resources I've had in the past, but I have something of more value now; an earnest longing to simply love people and let all the rest settle in around us as we watch LOVE do it's thing.
LOVE will build itself, if we let it.
I'm down. Are you? Let's give the world more LOVE stories than it can even handle. Let's blow Heaven's Gates open with both prayers for our neighbors and songs of praise for all we are blessed with.
Big Love,
Tammy
